Category: micro

Monday, 19.01.2026

: I’ve started new classes. A new place, a completely new space, a new teacher. Everything is new. New movements, a lot of . And it’s hard. Really hard.

Most of the time I don’t feel great there. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong — not just with my , but also with remembering the . I miss steps, I get lost, I react too late. What’s interesting is that I’m not even that self-conscious anymore. I was much worse a year or two ago. Still, it hurts. I’m . Not angry — frustrated.

In my regular classes, with teachers I know well, I learned how to hide . I know my tricks. Here, with someone new, I can’t hide anything. Everything is visible. Every error. The class is two hours long. Two full hours of with almost every movement. It’s exhausting, emotionally more than physically.

Today was the second class. And it was better. Not good — just a little better. Tiny steps. A long way ahead before I feel comfortable there, but it feels doable. That matters.

Maybe it’s actually easier not to give up because it’s so hard. I’m strange like that. If something is too easy, it doesn’t hold me for long. I need friction. I need . After these classes, are high. I’m driving home and I can feel that old pattern waking up — eating stress, eating emotions. But this time there’s a pause. Recording this, then transcribing it, gives me enough space to not buy something awful for my body.

So no, I don’t feel good after these classes. But I stay.

#body#choreography#classes#dance#emotions#frustrated#frustration#improvisation#mistakes#process#resistance#struggle#struggling

Friday, 02.01.2026

Thursday, 01.01.2026

: it’s 8 am. 1st, 2026. quiet. really quiet.

I’m . is playing. and sun at the same time behind the window. and it feels so unreal how this is.

I keep thinking how long it took me to experience a day like this. forty-one starts before this one. and only now it feels right.

last year comes back to me too. 2025 was good. solid. important.

today feels like a good moment to close it properly. to look back once more. and then move forward, slowly, into what’s next.

#calm#january#morning#music#new beginnings#reflection#silence#snow#winter#writing
Koniec roku 2026
Koniec

Wednesday, 31.12.2025

: yesterday ended with two sentences. one came from my own thinking. the other from words I heard. I didn’t argue with either of them. I just kept them.

if nothing changes, nothing changes.

nothing should be forced.

#boundaries#change#conclusions#notebook#reflection

: woke up very early today. it was still dark and so . I opened the door – and there it was. .

for some reason, it made me instantly happy. no big thoughts. just a clear, childish yessssss inside.

and it looks so good with my pink-and-white lights. I really love it. my own little world.

I spent over an hour clearing the . slow. physical. simple. my favorite kind of gym. cold air, warm body, empty head. music in my airpods.

this is the kind of I was waiting for. Winter Wonderland by Michael Bublé felt obvious.

now you’re talking.

#joy#morning#movement#my world#presence#quiet#simple life#snow#winter#winter ritual

Monday, 29.12.2025

Sunday, 28.12.2025

: almost a year ago, an idea showed up in my head. to take an old garage – full of old stuff, dirty, forgotten – and turn it into my own room. a workout room. a small private . mine. for a year, it was just a , and during that year I was slowly doing it. cleaning. throwing things away. fixing. arranging. changing this weird, dirty place into something real.

now I’m thinking about it and I’m proud. five minutes ago I wasn’t. but when I look at the whole , I am. really. it was a very old, very dirty place. and now it’s a room. a workout room. my .

today I went there for the first training. the first one after almost a year of building instead of using. and it was hard. not physically – mentally. this place isn’t finished. not even close. but it’s good enough to start. so I started. six minutes. only six minutes of actual workout. I was there much longer, but the workout itself was six minutes. and that was fine. it was hard. but it was good.

there was a lot of . switching from creating this place to actually using it. from the room. from the . from myself. now it’s late evening and I already know something: I will go there tomorrow. and the day after tomorrow. and the next day too. I won’t say “I hope”. I will use it.

I’ve been waiting for this for so long. and now it’s here. done enough. real. usable. this already came true. now I just need to live inside it. and maybe… let the go. and have fun there. we’ll see.

#consistency#dance#discipline#dream#dreams#gym#movement#pressure#pride#process#space#transformation

Friday, 26.12.2025

: I decided to stop drinking . not as an experiment – as something permanent. I’ve been circling around this for months, mentioning it here and there on my blog. affects me too much, and I don’t like the state it puts me in.

after a few days without it, my body calmed down. mornings were quieter. my head clearer. less tension, less internal noise. I started dealing with silence more easily.

then I was out for breakfast with , at a coffee place. and… I ordered coffee. without thinking. a large one. probably two espressos. no decaf, no pause – old habit took over. and yes, the taste was great.

the reaction wasn’t. tension came back almost immediately. tight chest, restless body, mind speeding up for no reason. after a few calm days, the contrast was brutal. this is what caffeine does to me. I’ve known it for years, but feeling the difference so clearly is something else. they gave me a sugar packet, I added it automatically. once I broke one rule, breaking another was easy. caffeine plus sugar – old pattern, no reflection. that part disappointed me.

I went back to not drinking coffee at home. things settled again.

and then one early morning, with work to finish, I made coffee at home. actually, two. something completely normal for the old me. this time I noticed something new. not just tension – my heart rate went up. not panic, not chaos. smooth, controlled, but clearly faster. my body noticed before my thoughts did.

that moment stopped me.

when caffeine isn’t constant anymore, its effects become impossible to ignore. it’s no longer background noise. it’s a clear signal. coffee isn’t neutral for me. it changes my system. it shifts my internal tempo. it puts me in a state I don’t choose.

this isn’t a lesson learned. it’s part of the . I’m still adjusting. still slipping sometimes. still paying attention. but the decision is clear – I don’t want caffeine in my life as a daily, mindless habit. maybe it can be useful sometimes. maybe not at all. I’ll see.

this post is just a marker. this is where it became obvious.

#awareness#body signals#caffeine#change#coffee#decisions#habits#health#nervous#nervous system#process

Thursday, 25.12.2025

: i’ve just come .

is done. not a trip, not really. just going. driving. staying somewhere that isn’t mine. with my at my #parents’ place – eve and the first day. today I drove them to their mom so they can spend the rest of there.

and now I’m back. . thirty minutes in.

I’ve been waiting for this moment for some time. not only for to end, but for a few things to close at once – stuff, personal stuff, obligations that were just sitting there and taking space. was one of them. now it’s time to move on. finally.

the last few days were hard. being away from drains me. sleeping somewhere else drains me. this whole spectacle drains me. my #parents’ house isn’t my house. I like my rules. my rhythm. my surroundings. I like being . I need that feeling to function. well, in some areas I think.

now there’s finally space. first – . . getting my strength back.

but I can already feel that some things need to be cleaned up. some , some decisions, some leftovers from the last weeks, maybe even months. I don’t want to just go through my . I want to shape it. choose it. live it the way it actually fits me.

so this is where I am. back . resting. and getting ready to move again.

#christmas#daughters#habits#home#independent#life#parents#rest#sleep#work

Monday, 22.12.2025

Thursday, 18.12.2025

: just finished Les Mills .

my feels warm, open, alive. not exhausted – activated. like everything is in the right place. muscles awake, breath deeper, head quiet. it’s such a good moment.

there’s something very simple about this feeling. my knows it was taken care of. it knows it moved with music, with , with intention. and it answers with energy instead of tension.

i’m sitting here a few minutes after class and i feel… grateful. honestly grateful. not in a big, dramatic way. just a quiet thank you spreading through my . a warm feeling I want to capture for future me.

right now everything feels lighter. steadier. more aligned. and i’m really glad I was there.

#body#calm#core#dance#gratitude#health#movement#presence#rhythm

Monday, 15.12.2025

: today is the day! I’m going to later, and that already puts this day in a slightly different category, because today is the first day of a new . new , new sequences, a new flow that will stay with me for the next three months. it happens only four times a year, so yes – this is a small celebration.

but the reason isn’t novelty. it’s what these Les Mills choreographed classes are for me. officially they’re fitness, technically they’re training, but very quickly they stop feeling like exercise at all. I don’t count reps, I don’t think about muscles – I move. well… I . the connects everything: one transition melts into another, breath, , arms, spine, all stitched together by . after a few classes the trainer fades into the background, I know the sequence, my remembers it – and that’s when it becomes .

that’s why these three-month cycles matter so much to me. a isn’t something I use up in one class – I live in it. I come back again and again, it settles, deepens, becomes familiar, and in that familiarity there’s comfort, joy, and progress at the same time. today a new one begins, and it’s , which makes it even more special – the big class, fifty spots, always full, familiar faces I know from seeing, bodies moving together in the same internal rhythm. it reminds me of a kind of , really.

I’m on three, four, sometimes five times a week, and every time I find this quiet pocket of inside the . not work on my , but time with my . so happy about this day!

#balance#body#body balance#choreography#dance#festival#gym#les mills#monday#music

: something happened tonight. not a thought. not a plan. a move.

for weeks I’ve been making small . quiet ones. almost invisible. and tonight it all piled up and spilled out at once. I took things out of my . physically. deliberately. things that don’t belong there anymore. things that don’t belong in my anymore – even if I’m not ready to name all the reasons yet.

this is the result of that moment. not the end. not even the beginning. just proof that a line was crossed. and that a new is already forming. I’ll come back to this.

#change#decisions#environment#kitchen#life#minimalism#night#photo#process#reality

: people who visit my place almost always end up in the kitchen. not because it’s cosy. not because it’s beautiful. but because it’s the closest thing to what most homes look like. the closest thing to normal. my living room doesn’t help much — no table, no chairs, no couch. just . a carpet. the floor. #standing… or sitting down there, if you want.

for me, it’s obvious. I stand. I drink coffee . I eat . I talk . I write . my learned this rhythm so well that sitting now feels… strange. unnecessary. almost wrong.

but visitors don’t even hesitate. they walk in and aim straight for the chairs. they sink into them. collapse a little. shoulders drop, arms hang, the gives up holding itself. and suddenly I’m there, upright, — and they’re seated, resting, parked.

it’s not judgement. it’s observation. I realised I didn’t just remove . I stepped out of something they don’t even perceive as a cage.

chairs are not the problem, of course. sitting is not the enemy. it’s what sitting represents when it becomes the default — passive , automatic collapse, life lived with the switched off unless it’s forced to wake up. I know this world. I lived in it. and I don’t want to go back.

what’s interesting is the sadness. not anger. not superiority. just a quiet sadness. because I know how much better it feels on the other side — and I also know that a 30-minute visit won’t change anyone’s nervous system. and it shouldn’t. this isn’t something you explain. you just live it.

recently, though, I introduced something new. a carpet. partly for movies. partly to soften the . maybe — if I’m honest — to soften my abnormality. I used to have floor chairs. no one touched them. bean bags worked a bit better, but I could see people still struggling, never fully comfortable.

the carpet changed things. suddenly there was . room. the possibility to lie down, lean, exist without a frame. and that made me uneasy. because I don’t like shortcuts. shortcuts usually lead back to the old life.

this felt dangerously close to a couch. to creeping in quietly, pretending to be harmless. is tricky. like alcohol. it lowers the friction that usually protects my decisions. it’s often the reason we choose things we wouldn’t choose while fully awake.

but lying on the carpet at night, something surprised me. it wasn’t numbing. it wasn’t collapse. it was . my old yoga mat was narrow. disciplined. precise. the carpet feels wide. open. like my can spread out without disappearing.

maybe not all is the same. maybe some doesn’t put you to sleep — it just gives you room.

I’m watching this carefully. not solving it. not justifying it. not rushing to conclusions. I escaped a trap most people don’t even see. now I’m learning the harder part — how to allow softness without falling asleep again.

and for now… I’m still .

#awareness#body#comfort#furniture#habits#less comfortable#less-comfort#lifestyle#minimalism#presence#present#space#standing

Thursday, 11.12.2025

: I’ve been thinking about . not the big dramatic kind, not the “you can count on me forever” speeches. something much smaller.

yesterday my mechanic called me to say my car was ready. the bill was high, higher than I expected, and he kept apologising for it – explaining, justifying, almost defending himself. well, he’s a nice guy and just knew it’s a lot of money for me. and I caught myself saying: you don’t have to explain anything… it’s okay.

because in that moment I just trusted him. fully. without words, without effort. and that felt… really good.

I didn’t have to say “I you.” I didn’t even think about saying it. I simply did. even with all the past mistakes, even with the times he messed something up and admitted it. even with all the imperfections. maybe because of them.

I realised how much easier feels when I decide to believe that are good. just simply good, by nature. that they’re not trying to trick me, not trying to make my day worse. they’re just doing their jobs, doing their best, trying to stay in their own lives. and if I meet them halfway – even in these tiny – something soft shows up. something human.

and standing there yesterday, listening to him apologise again, I felt one thing: .

grateful that he took care of my car. grateful that he tried. grateful that this small moment reminded me of the way I actually want to live.

trusting makes me a calmer person. a better one, I think. and it’s quite easy.

#calm#gratitude#life#micro-relations#microrelations#mindset#people#trust

Wednesday, 10.12.2025

: i’m sitting in my favourite again. well, “favourite” because of what happened a few minutes ago. I was ordering my , there were three baristas, three young girls. I can’t say I know any of them, but with one of them I always exchange these tiny smiles. those little moments I like a lot. she’s one of these people in my life with whom I have this micro-relation, and somehow it makes my everyday feel better.

I get attached easily… even to this kind of micro-relations. and when I think about it now, I have quite a few of them in my everyday. the girl at the reception in my school – yesterday she said to me: “omg greg, I was worried you won’t be here today, you’re always so early and today it’s five minutes till the lesson starts.” she also smiles at me every time I’m there. but it’s not only girls. I have this with men too. at least two guys come to my mind right now. these small micro-friendships with people who just happen to be on my path.

and the funny thing is – I actually take care of those little connections. I go to places where I know I’ll see these people. there are days when I’m mad at myself that these micro-relations affect me too much. but not today.

back to today. I was standing in line, waiting to order my . you know, the girls take customers one by one, switching between themselves. when “my girl” was serving the woman in front of me, I felt a bit disappointed. but then she looked up, saw me, and took me next – even if it wasn’t her “turn”. and yeah, she remembered my usual order (old barista trick, but I love it).

but then she said something that made my whole day:

“i haven’t seen you here for some time and missed you already.”

she actually said this to me.

a tiny sentence that brought me here, sitting with my coffee and realising how much I appreciate these micro-relations in my life. maybe I’m not the best with the big ones… hmm. not sure why I think like that. probably for another entry.

today I just appreciate this and these small micro-relations that make my days softer.

#cafe#coffee#connection#dance#emotions#everyday life#micro-relations#people

: so yeah, i’m back on . still don’t like the , the whole feeling, mess, but love the recommendations it’s giving me. I know that a lot of this is my fault, I probably should configure the way I want, but that’s also the reason for switching – I don’t want to configure my . it should work the way I want without even having to say the word “configuration”, and with I feel there’s too much teaching involved. too many nudges, too many hints. just knows – and that’s what I like. for now.

#app#apple#apple music#music#spotify