my older daughter, when she was little, often lost all sorts of strange things in her room. from toys to clips, hair elastics and headbands. she would then come to me and say:
dad, I’ve got a problem. I lost that red doll with the long dress. you know which one. but that’s okay, right? you’ll help me find it?
who among us hasn’t forgotten where we put our wallet, headphones, charger, purse, or car keys? we’re always looking for something. at school, we could blame the dog for eating our homework. but how do you explain to a police officer that the dog ate your driver’s license?
once school is over, forgetfulness starts to cost more. sometimes money, sometimes just nerves.
it’s not so bad when you can go to the store and buy a new doll. worse when it’s a rare library book, a memory card with your vacation photos, or a wedding ring you took off “just for a moment.” that’s when panic starts. and in panic, it’s hard to find anything.
so I made a little plan — first for my daughters, later for myself.
it works not only when you’re looking for toys, but also when you’ve lost your calm, patience, or sense of direction.
1. breath, breath…
believe me, in many cases it all ends here. just stop, take a few calm breaths and… suddenly you remember where it lies.
calmness really helps you find more than nerves.
2. clear your head
if that doesn’t work – try to calm down. slow down. sit in silence for a while. let the thoughts stop racing.
I have already written about a simple way to calm down – go back to it.
the goal is simple: forget everything, even the doom.
see yourself from a distance, along with your flaws, inattention, absentmindedness.
sometimes you have to accept chaos to find something in it.
3. think again
are you sure it’s even yours?
it sounds funny, but children often look for toys that aren’t theirs at all. maybe they just saw them at someone’s house.
in the adult world it can be similar – we look for things we think we’ve lost, when in fact we never had them.
it’s worth making sure.
4. borrowed?
sometimes the answer is trivial: you borrowed. either from someone or yourself from someone.
my daughter loves to swap toys and always forgets who she gave what to.
maybe you also gave something away – and forgot?
5. where should it be?
now just starting the actual search.
start with where the thing should be.
maybe a shelf above the bed, maybe a table, maybe a drawer, just not the one you need.
sometimes something just fell behind a cabinet.
look where you’re “sure you’ve already checked”. because that’s where it most often lies.
6. where should it not be?
my daughter is looking for slippers every morning. usually they are under the bed, but sometimes – in the bathroom.
it is worth tracing the path that the doom may have traveled.
if it is not at its destination, it probably got stuck along the way.
just like those slippers that sometimes do not arrive in the evening from the bathroom under the bed.
7. kidnapping!
no, it’s not about stealing. it’s about coincidence.
sometimes someone just takes something of yours, not knowing you’ll be looking for it later.
in my house is a classic: one daughter plays with the other’s toys.
or my wife’s tidying up – which can effectively “tidy up” my stuff too.
these seven points are most often enough.
sometimes I find one daughter’s doll, sometimes the other daughter’s cuddly toy, and sometimes my wallet behind the cabinet.
sometimes the electricity bill in the coloring books, and the tablet – in the sock drawer (don’t ask).
but there are also things that stay lost. and maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. maybe not everything needs to be found.
because sometimes when you lose something – you find something more important: patience, detachment, a smile.
and this is not likely to get lost anymore.
