my #body feels warm, open, alive. not exhausted – activated. like everything is in the right place. muscles awake, breath deeper, head quiet. it’s such a good moment.
there’s something very simple about this feeling. my #body knows it was taken care of. it knows it moved with music, with #rhythm, with intention. and it answers with #calm energy instead of tension.
i’m sitting here a few minutes after class and i feel… grateful. honestly grateful. not in a big, dramatic way. just a quiet thank you spreading through my #body. a warm feeling I want to capture for future me.
right now everything feels lighter. steadier. more aligned. and i’m really glad I was there.
Thursday, 11.12.2025
: I’ve been thinking about #trust. not the big dramatic kind, not the “you can count on me forever” speeches. something much smaller.
yesterday my mechanic called me to say my car was ready. the bill was high, higher than I expected, and he kept apologising for it – explaining, justifying, almost defending himself. well, he’s a nice guy and just knew it’s a lot of money for me. and I caught myself saying: you don’t have to explain anything… it’s okay.
because in that moment I just trusted him. fully. without words, without effort. and that felt… really good.
I didn’t have to say “I #trust you.” I didn’t even think about saying it. I simply did. even with all the past mistakes, even with the times he messed something up and admitted it. even with all the imperfections. maybe because of them.
I realised how much easier #life feels when I decide to believe that #people are good. just simply good, by nature. that they’re not trying to trick me, not trying to make my day worse. they’re just doing their jobs, doing their best, trying to stay #calm in their own lives. and if I meet them halfway – even in these tiny #microrelations – something soft shows up. something human.
and standing there yesterday, listening to him apologise again, I felt one thing: #gratitude.
grateful that he took care of my car. grateful that he tried. grateful that this small moment reminded me of the way I actually want to live.
trusting makes me a calmer person. a better one, I think. and it’s quite easy.
Koniec
Saturday, 01.11.2025
: oh my god, it’s weekend. and it’s a free weekend for me. nobody’s coming, nobody’s waiting, and there’s nothing in my calendar that’s connected with anyone. so I can do whatever I want. I can focus on myself. and that’s exactly what I need.
today’s a public holiday here in Poland, so everything’s closed – stores, places, even people, somehow. all classes are cancelled, so no roller blades with my kids this weekend. free Saturday, free Sunday.
I think I won’t even go to the gym today. I just want to clean my space. clean my head. clean everything around me after weeks of that renovation at my aunt’s house, which I’m kind of in charge of. people were here every day, from 6 p.m. till late – one electrician stayed till 11:30 p.m. last time. so yeah, it’s been full days of my presence being borrowed.
and now, finally, it’s quiet. it’s mine again.
Koniec
Thursday, 30.10.2025
: no dance today. no gym, no #rush. well, ok – with some #rush, I guess, because there’s a lot going on around my place lately. but at least I don’t have to go anywhere today.
I woke up with that small sore throat again – not really #sick, maybe just enough to slow me down. maybe it’s an #excuse, maybe not. but it’s a good one – hard to argue with.
I’m sitting at @Jeff’s, eating #breakfast, and for the first time in days, the world feels a bit slower. lately everything’s been moving around me – the renovation at my aunt’s house, people walking through the yard, decisions to make, things to fix, voices everywhere. I don’t mind helping, but it fills the space that used to be quiet. and I miss that quiet.
funny thing is, I like my life now. I like the rhythm I built – the dance classes, the movement, the workouts. but this other rhythm – the constant coordination, the noise – that’s not mine. and I guess my body decided to draw the line for me.
so maybe that’s what this morning is about. not skipping anything, not being lazy. just taking back a bit of stillness. remembering that I don’t have to fill every hour with effort. that silence can be part of the rhythm too.
Monday, 27.10.2025
: #dreams are such a strange thing. it’s like my head goes totally crazy, living in its own world, going on its own #journey. last night’s dream was exactly like that. I dreamt about some kind of alternative life – living in a different place, a small apartment somewhere in Warsaw, I guess. and it felt so! real!
when I woke up, I didn’t actually know where I was. for a couple of minutes, I was convinced the dream was my real life. like my head refused to come back.
I like dreaming, especially now – after fixing so many things in my life. when there are no hidden fears anymore, when I can actually deal with my own shit. #dreams became not only tolerable, but even kind of pleasant. they don’t scare me anymore.
but last night… was an intense experience.
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