Tag: minimalism
Monday, 22.12.2025
Monday, 15.12.2025
: something happened tonight. not a thought. not a plan. a move.
for weeks I’ve been making small #decisions. quiet ones. almost invisible. and tonight it all piled up and spilled out at once. I took things out of my #kitchen. physically. deliberately. things that don’t belong there anymore. things that don’t belong in my #life anymore – even if I’m not ready to name all the reasons yet.
this #photo is the result of that moment. not the end. not even the beginning. just proof that a line was crossed. and that a new #reality is already forming. I’ll come back to this.
: people who visit my place almost always end up in the kitchen. not because it’s cosy. not because it’s beautiful. but because it’s the closest thing to what most homes look like. the closest thing to normal. my living room doesn’t help much — no table, no chairs, no couch. just #space. a carpet. the floor. #standing… or sitting down there, if you want.
for me, it’s obvious. I stand. I drink coffee #standing. I eat #standing. I talk #standing. I write #standing. my #body learned this rhythm so well that sitting now feels… strange. unnecessary. almost wrong.
but visitors don’t even hesitate. they walk in and aim straight for the chairs. they sink into them. collapse a little. shoulders drop, arms hang, the #body gives up holding itself. and suddenly I’m #standing there, upright, #present — and they’re seated, resting, parked.
it’s not judgement. it’s observation. I realised I didn’t just remove #furniture. I stepped out of something they don’t even perceive as a cage.
chairs are not the problem, of course. sitting is not the enemy. it’s what sitting represents when it becomes the default — passive #comfort, automatic collapse, life lived with the #body switched off unless it’s forced to wake up. I know this world. I lived in it. and I don’t want to go back.
what’s interesting is the sadness. not anger. not superiority. just a quiet sadness. because I know how much better it feels on the other side — and I also know that a 30-minute visit won’t change anyone’s nervous system. and it shouldn’t. this isn’t something you explain. you just live it.
recently, though, I introduced something new. a carpet. partly for movies. partly to soften the #space. maybe — if I’m honest — to soften my abnormality. I used to have floor chairs. no one touched them. bean bags worked a bit better, but I could see people still struggling, never fully comfortable.
the carpet changed things. suddenly there was #space. room. the possibility to lie down, lean, exist without a frame. and that made me uneasy. because I don’t like shortcuts. shortcuts usually lead back to the old life.
this felt dangerously close to a couch. to #comfort creeping in quietly, pretending to be harmless. #comfort is tricky. like alcohol. it lowers the friction that usually protects my decisions. it’s often the reason we choose things we wouldn’t choose while fully awake.
but lying on the carpet at night, something surprised me. it wasn’t numbing. it wasn’t collapse. it was #space. my old yoga mat was narrow. disciplined. precise. the carpet feels wide. open. like my #body can spread out without disappearing.
maybe not all #comfort is the same. maybe some #comfort doesn’t put you to sleep — it just gives you room.
I’m watching this carefully. not solving it. not justifying it. not rushing to conclusions. I escaped a trap most people don’t even see. now I’m learning the harder part — how to allow softness without falling asleep again.
and for now… I’m still #standing.
Thursday, 11.12.2025
: I’m overcomplicating things way too often. simple is the best. the easiest. the right way. so let’s… just keep it #simple.
Friday, 05.12.2025
: few days ago my parents bought a second fridge. and the second, separate freezer. and of course they’re not selling the old ones. they just keep everything, just in case.
and every time I see this, I get why I became a minimalist. I grew up in a house where things never left. where every old device stayed “because maybe one day”.
I guess I’m just the opposite now. that’s all.
Sunday, 16.11.2025
: another one of my #plants is dying, and it hits me harder than I want to admit. I know it’s “just a plant”, but for me it never feels like that. they’re my little family. my quiet #pets. I’m attached to them in this strange, simple way, and every time one of them stops doing well, something in me sinks.
I keep around thirty of them. most of them are fine, living with me, growing slowly, existing in their quiet way. but some of them… some of them don’t make it. some of them I fail to take care of. and it’s sad every single time. it shouldn’t hurt this much, but it does.
maybe it’s because I try. I look at them, I water them, I move them around, I check the soil, the light, everything. and when I still can’t help – that’s when it really gets me.
so that’s my little thought for today. I just want to keep it here, in my diary. there was this plant. it lived with me. and now it doesn’t.
Thursday, 13.11.2025
: so ok, I did something with this whole november-mood. I took that messy, drifting feeling – the one that’s been chewing on me for days – and I threw it into my therapist-chat profile on chatgpt. the one I use when I’m not looking for diary tips or tech fixes, but for… myself. and the answer I got back? damn. it hit.
not in a “comforting” way. more like: get your shit together, man.
and of course, that felt good.
because honestly, the fact that I even looked for help today is already a good sign. I didn’t let the november autopilot run the show again. I didn’t fall into the “oh well, this is who I am” bullshit. I stopped. I looked for something. I tried to understand what’s happening instead of slipping into the same stupid loop.
and that response… it made things clearer. it didn’t call me weak. it basically said I’m predictable. and predictable is fixable. and that’s exactly what I needed.
so yeah… I’m actually glad I reached for that little help today. even from a robot – which chatgpt basically is. but that doesn’t matter. what matters is that I’m still trying. that something in me still wants the life I want – not the one that appears when I stop paying attention.
and I know there are two more pretty big things I have to fix in my life. well, ok, way more than two. but I’m finally getting strong enough to face at least those two. the ones I know I suck at.
but that’s for another day.
Thursday, 06.11.2025
: yesterday I’ve cancelled two #subscriptions. feedbin, and after that also instapaper. nothing big – but something changed.
a few days ago I got an email about my feedbin renewal. not a huge thing, just one of those automatic reminders. I was even going to renew it – it’s not expensive, and feedbin is a nice service. but that one email made me stop. think. and somehow it triggered a whole chain reaction.
I looked at my rss feeds – dozens of them, thousands of unread articles. that wasn’t information anymore, it was baggage. old versions of me, old habits, old curiosities, old languages. like a room full of ghosts – whispering: “read me, remember me, you used to care.” but I don’t. not anymore.
many of them were polish blogs, polish sources, topics I’m not interested in. those feeds were still publishing into a room I no longer live in. every scroll was a reminder of someone I used to be.
so I started cleaning. like I clean my #space. like a minimalist should. deleting (rss) apps and subscriptions isn’t about data – it’s about weight. emotional weight. unread articles feel like unfinished conversations, like a debt to my past self.
so I let them go. cancelled feedbin, then cancelled instapaper, moved everything into one reader (reeder) app. one that feels light. and it’s probably temporary. or maybe not. I don’t even know if I’ll stay with it. maybe I’ll simplify it even more. but right now, it feels free. not the “I can do anything” kind of freedom – the “I don’t have to” kind.
and that’s the best kind of #freedom. people usually add things to feel better. I prefer removing them. one quiet decision, one small click – and suddenly half my digital life rearranged itself.
Tuesday, 04.11.2025
: well… it looks like I’ve finally switched from #spotify to #applemusic. I knew it was coming. am I happy with this change? partly, yes. but I already miss Spotify’s music recommendations. with Apple Music I feel like I stepped back five years with my playlists. maybe it’s just a matter of changing my habits and the way I use the app. I know I can accomplish the same things I had on Spotify – it just needs time.
now, the next step is to change my podcast player from Spotify to… well, I’m thinking about Apple Podcasts or Pocket Casts.
it looks like I’m slowly staying loyal to just two companies – Apple and Automattic (the company behind WordPress). I just wish Automattic would integrate all their apps more. I’d love to use Day One as my main diary editor and sync it directly to my WordPress blog. the same with podcasts in Pocket Casts. and Simplenote! I’d totally use it – but is it still in development? will they abandon it? it feels so disconnected from other Automattic tools.
honestly, I could easily replace my Apple-centric ecosystem with Automattic’s one – with my WordPress blog at the heart of it. actually, that’s where I’m heading already. it would just be so much easier if their tools talked to each other a bit more.
Saturday, 25.10.2025
: after my #divorce, i was afraid that my daughters wouldn’t trust me much. that it would feel strange when they stayed at my place – for me and for them. that it would be hard to live, even for a few days, in my minimalistic, one-room house – this weird, symbiotic space so different from every other #home. i thought it would be hard for them. hard for me. awkward most of the time. it’s not easy to let someone into such a closed world – even your own kids.
but it’s not like that at all. it’s the opposite. i feel so good when they’re here, in this stupid little house. and even more — i can feel that they also feel great here with me. we talk a lot, we always eat together, we laugh almost every minute we’re together. we fight against fast food, go rollerblading, watch our dancing videos – because we’re all learning to dance! and i don’t think it’s a coincidence.
in the first year after the divorce, after leaving my wife, i often wondered if it was the right decision. today i’m sure it was – the most important one of my life. and i’m so glad everything turned out this way. i feel deeply grateful – for my choices, but also for all those little coincidences that led me here.
or… maybe there are no coincidences?
my daughters are sleeping right now, and i can’t wait to wake them up to spend another morning with them. yeah, i was so wrong at first. i’m glad they’re here. and… i think… they also feel good here, with me.
Thursday, 23.10.2025
: sometimes, to make a #change, you just have to make a #change. a small one.
like changing the #direction where – or how – you #sleep. you know, upside down. just #sleep upside down.
start with this tiny thing and see what happens.
and if it doesn’t work, try something else.
change another small thing.
something will stick.
something will click.
and that one small thing might be the tip of the iceberg – the thing that changes everything.
just try. i’m #trying. small thing. another one.
