Tag: progress
Monday, 29.12.2025
Friday, 14.11.2025
: i’ve bought a yearly access to a dance masterclass. and honestly, the first thought wasn’t excitement – it was “will I actually use this?”
this one fits my life right now. I #dance every day. I have my own training room (almost ready!). I want better #technique, cleaner lines, more control. this wasn’t some random impulse – it’s exactly on my path. I planned to buy it someday, and today’s discount just pushed me to finally do it.
so I’ll open it today. even for a few minutes. if I do that, it won’t be wasted #money. it will slide into the #routine I’m already building. cross fingers for me.
Thursday, 13.11.2025
: so ok, I did something with this whole november-mood. I took that messy, drifting feeling – the one that’s been chewing on me for days – and I threw it into my therapist-chat profile on chatgpt. the one I use when I’m not looking for diary tips or tech fixes, but for… myself. and the answer I got back? damn. it hit.
not in a “comforting” way. more like: get your shit together, man.
and of course, that felt good.
because honestly, the fact that I even looked for help today is already a good sign. I didn’t let the november autopilot run the show again. I didn’t fall into the “oh well, this is who I am” bullshit. I stopped. I looked for something. I tried to understand what’s happening instead of slipping into the same stupid loop.
and that response… it made things clearer. it didn’t call me weak. it basically said I’m predictable. and predictable is fixable. and that’s exactly what I needed.
so yeah… I’m actually glad I reached for that little help today. even from a robot – which chatgpt basically is. but that doesn’t matter. what matters is that I’m still trying. that something in me still wants the life I want – not the one that appears when I stop paying attention.
and I know there are two more pretty big things I have to fix in my life. well, ok, way more than two. but I’m finally getting strong enough to face at least those two. the ones I know I suck at.
but that’s for another day.
Thursday, 06.11.2025
it’s thursday – my only #evening this week without any dance class. no jazz, no gym, no training.
just me. and that’s usually the #danger zone.
because you know how it goes – a free #evening, some fast food, maybe a tv show, a bit of #scrolling… and then the night’s gone. but not today. today I stopped myself. I just said: no. I put my shoes on and went for a #walk.
and that changed everything.
I was supposed to rest, but I don’t really rest. I rest through motion, through #change. after a few kilometers I felt lighter, stronger, full of energy. this #walk gave me #fuel. to think, to act, to move.
when there’s #change, there’s excitement. and when excitement becomes routine – that’s the best part. because that means I made it mine.
so yeah. maybe it was just a #walk.
but maybe it was also a small rebellion – against old #habits, against the quiet pull of nothingness. and it worked. I feel alive again.
#progress. that’s what it was.
Tuesday, 04.11.2025
: so I’ve just finished another jazz class – first one with a new choreography. and I have to say one thing. ech… it’s jazz. no, no, no — it’s fucking jazz!
I’m still failing at it. well… ok. I’m learning. it’s a fail for me only because I’m not as good as I want to be. I know, I know – these are lessons, we’r all learning how to dance, it’s all part of the process. but come on, come on, come on. I have to shake off all these emotions. and I’m… oh, I’m so bad at this that I don’t even want to watch the video from this choreography. I recorded it to learn – but honestly, I’m not sure if I can even look at it. it was hard, sure. but still, I feel like I should’ve done better.
so yeah. this is jazz. no – this is fucking jazz.
Friday, 31.10.2025
so… it was last Tuesday of the month, and the last round with this #jazz #choreography. and yeah, it’s not exactly a masterpiece from my side – actually far from it. closer to tragedy – especially when I’m watching it. but you know, it’s #jazz – my own little nightmare – and it’s tricky. it always is. I regret that I’m not as good as I’d like to be. but maybe that’s fine.
i’m putting this #video up here – again – and again, it’s kind of a little reality check for myself.
it’s the last take of this piece, so it’s like: okay, this is where I’m at, and this is how much work there still is to do. and that’s that.
new choreo next Tuesday.
Thursday, 30.10.2025
: I haven’t been weighing myself lately, because I’m afraid of what I might see on the scale. so I just let it go. I try not to think about it, not to look at it. I even threw it out of my morning routine, just so I don’t accidentally see the number.
yeah, I know… but the fact that I’m writing about it probably means I’m getting ready to change that.
: yesterday I started new modern jazz classes at my #dance school – @revolution dance center . new trainer, @anna . I remember I had one or two classes with her before, few months ago, when she was replacing someone. i remember it was nice. and now she’s here again, with her own group. so i joined.
first classes are always strange. everyone’s new, everything’s new. but i like that. I like training basics, even though i’m not good at them. that’s exactly why I like them – because there’s always something to fix, something to polish. and Anna has her own style – soft but demanding. new movements, new way of thinking, new rhythm. and that’s what i need.
I had to resign from classes with @kamila , which was hard. I really like her. but I still have her classes on monday and friday, so I didn’t lose her completely. i just added something new. but yesterday, when I watched a video from @kamila other group – the one I left – I felt jealous and had #fomo. they were dancing this new project choreography and it looked great. and I missed it. I missed being there.
but I know this is the right decision. because if I want to grow, I have to keep changing. I can’t stay in one place, even if it’s a good one. every trainer has their own piece of the same dance style – maybe 10% of it – and if i keep learning from just one person, I’ll only ever get that 10%. but when I change, I get another 10%, and then another. and maybe that’s how I’ll build the whole picture one day.
so, I guess this is not only about dance. that’s just how I live. i can’t stay in the same place too long. I need new things, new ideas, new people around me. that’s how I grow. that’s how I breathe.
sometimes I wonder what’s next. in my dreams, I see myself as a dancer who can show his dance, maybe teach someone how to move, maybe even stand on a stage and inspire others. and when I wake up, I’m still just here – at my school, with my classes, learning, training. maybe i don’t believe in myself enough. or maybe I just love this road so much that I don’t want it to end.
and maybe one day I’ll do something crazy again – something that will change everything. because I know myself. I probably will.
Tuesday, 21.10.2025
Monday, 20.10.2025
eh, friday’s modern jazz class with @dominika is pure fun, but it’s not an easy thing. learning a new choreography doesn’t always go the way I want it to go. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. in today’s video – my first tries of the new routine… not very successful yet.
